Remembering those who are not yet mothers

Mothers day used to be so hard for me. I always tried to focus on my mom and Drew's mom, but the reminder of not having children to call my own always came seeping in. I tried to be strong, but in a second of weakness, there it was. Reducing me to tears. I always felt silly at church when the young men would pass out Mother's day gifts - they give them to all women over 18, but it was hard to accept it. I have so many friends and even family members who are not able to conceive. And I'm especially thinking at this time of my dear sweet sister-in-law and brother-in-law who lost a baby a little over a year ago. I can't even imagine what she has been through.

I was in Hawaii for one Mother's Day, and that was probably one of the easier ones. I missed my mom a lot, but she and my mother-in-law were the only mothers I thought of that day. We were in the middle of the inVitro process and would be having the procedure done when we got home. I had hopes, and that made things easier too.

I accepted my infertility long before Aria came along. Though I always wanted to adopt from an early age, it's still something I had to go through. It's changed me. It's made me more sensitive to others who are or were in our situation. It also made Drew and I much, much, much stronger as a couple. I learned to really rely on him and trust him with all I can. He became my rock, and still very much is.

This video was posted on LDS Adoption Connection and I will warn you, it's depressing. It is, however, pretty typical. 



I also wanted to repost this from AM2 - it's a poem about those not yet mothers also.

“Happy Mother's Day” 
it comes around every year;

but when you have empty arms, 

it's very hard to hear. 


It's a day to celebrate a mother;
for all the trials she overcame; 

and a reminder to an infertile 

of her loneliness and shame. 

But what really makes a mother, 

Is it just conception and birth? 

Or is there something more, 

that shows a mother's worth? 

It's putting your child first, 

in everything you do; 

it's sacrifice and determination, 

and love and patience too. 

An infertile woman makes all her plans, 

around a child not yet conceived; 

she loves them even though they aren't here, 

more than she ever could have believed. 

She appreciates and understands, 

what a blessing that children are; 

she works hard for just a chance, 

that motherhood is not that far. 

All odds are stacked against her, 

and yet she still has hope; 

everyday is another struggle, 

finding ways to help her cope. 

So even though her arms are empty, 

she can still be a mother too; 

So say a special “Happy Mother's Day” 

for those waiting for their dreams to come true! 

By Rachel Holden