Ben’s Adoption Story
September 2010 when Aria turned 1 year old we were able to start the adoption process again. We were really anxious to get things going as Aria was ready for a sibling. We were too, but she was especially ready. When adopting again, you start completely over. Completely.
October/November we attended orientations. By December we had our initial interviews with the agency. A week or so before Christmas we officially started the paperwork. Such a long process the paperwork is. Some things had changed since we did the paperwork for Aria so it wasn’t any faster.
May 29, 2011 we received a call from Aria’s birthdad’s cousin’s wife – CW. Her mom lived in Idaho and had a friend and ward member who was involved with possibly placing her great-grandson for adoption. CW and her husband had initially planned on adopting him as they have had their struggles getting pregnant themselves. A few days before meeting this sweet boy they found out they were pregnant. They were so torn. They wanted this boy so bad, but knew they wouldn’t be able to do it with this new little one on it’s way. They went and met him anyway. As much as they loved him and his family, they felt strongly they needed to say no. They felt really strongly about us being involved and wanted his family to meet us. She asked how we felt about this. Of course we were interested!
We had concerns about he and Aria being so close in age, but decided we actually think that is great! CW had told us all about his family. His grandmother was raising him but has major medical problems. They love him so dearly but would want to make this decision now when he’s young enough to adjust well rather than later when she is even less able to take care of him and he’s older. We fell in love with this family before we even met them. All of them. It’s strange how that happened.
That next day they called A and told her they wouldn’t be able to adopt him, but that they wanted her to meet us. She was devastated. She felt that if that didn’t work out, then they just shouldn’t place him. She needed time to think. She was upset. She really liked CW and her family. She didn’t know us.
After a turn of events, A wanted to meet us. We talked to her on the phone and got to know more about each other and our hopes for Ben.
June 4th we met them face to face the first time. We met Ben. Face to face. It was such an exciting day. It was so awesome to actually see and meet the boy we were hoping to adopt. He was so sweet. He and Aria played so well – like they were siblings already.
June 15th – A day we will cherish forever. After many phone conversations and visits A (and Birth Parents R&S) told us they want us to be his parents! We spent most of that day with them. It was so great! It was great meeting Ben’s birth parents! Such a sweet, humble and loving family all around.
We continued to make the drive to visit over the next few weeks and got to know A, R&S, and his great grandparents L&L. We grew such a great relationship with them. They are such good, genuine people.
We got word from their caseworker about the court date for placement. It was further out than we were all hoping, but it was nice to spend that much more time with them getting to know them and discuss openness and where we all wanted it to be. It also gave us a chance to get Ben’s room ready for him!
July 26th was to be the day. July 26th, Aria became a big sister.
July 26th (Taken from the post I did about the day):
Today I became a mom again!
It was a very bitter-sweet day.
We arrived in Idaho yesterday evening and spent some time with our little guy and his family. He and Aria play so well together. N, our little guy's aunt is Aria's favorite. She follows her around like she's her big sister and is always excited to see her. N and sister M turned on the sprinklers for the kids (and them!) to play in. They had so much fun together. N made me try out her little electric bike - it was rad!
Today I became a mom again!
It was a very bitter-sweet day.
We arrived in Idaho yesterday evening and spent some time with our little guy and his family. He and Aria play so well together. N, our little guy's aunt is Aria's favorite. She follows her around like she's her big sister and is always excited to see her. N and sister M turned on the sprinklers for the kids (and them!) to play in. They had so much fun together. N made me try out her little electric bike - it was rad!
We then went to the courthouse about 1:15. We met up with our little guy's paternal Great-Grandparents (who we've been seeing/talking with regularly. They are such sweet, awesome people. We just love them so much!) and we met his maternal grandparents for the first time. They were so sweet and supportive. It was great to meet them and see more of his family. They adopted S (Ben's Birth Mother) when she was newborn, so having been in our shoes before was neat.
Our little guy's mom, dad, and grandma (who we have been working with mostly) arrived and we got to speak with them a little until the court room was ready and they were called in for the termination of parental rights. We were planning on waiting in the hallway, as placement would be right after, but they invited us in. We were a little hesitant to go in, as this is something difficult for them, and usually the adoptive family does not participate. We've developed quite a relationship with them, so I guess they were fine with us being there. It was very hard to be in there. Knowing how hard it must be for them to do the things they had to do to relinquish rights was so hard. We love them so much and it was hard to see them make this difficult choice. Right after leaving the courtroom, the 2 kiddos just gave each other the biggest hugs! It was so cute to see them do that on their own!
We then all went to lunch at Chili's. It was a lot of fun being with each other. We exchanged some gifts and afterward headed back to our hotel. Both kiddos needed a nap desperately at this point. We agreed Aria probably wouldn't fall asleep with the excitement of the day so Drew took her swimming which helped keep her happy and content. I attempted to get our little guy to sleep. It didn't work very well. He was really missing his "papa" (great Grandpa). Eventually he slept for about 20 min, ate, and then we went to visit them and get his things for bed. Seeing them again really helped him and when we got back to our hotel, he was happy and content and went right to bed. Aria went really well also. It's weird sitting here typing with my TWO kiddos asleep!
Our little guy's mom, dad, and grandma (who we have been working with mostly) arrived and we got to speak with them a little until the court room was ready and they were called in for the termination of parental rights. We were planning on waiting in the hallway, as placement would be right after, but they invited us in. We were a little hesitant to go in, as this is something difficult for them, and usually the adoptive family does not participate. We've developed quite a relationship with them, so I guess they were fine with us being there. It was very hard to be in there. Knowing how hard it must be for them to do the things they had to do to relinquish rights was so hard. We love them so much and it was hard to see them make this difficult choice. Right after leaving the courtroom, the 2 kiddos just gave each other the biggest hugs! It was so cute to see them do that on their own!
We then all went to lunch at Chili's. It was a lot of fun being with each other. We exchanged some gifts and afterward headed back to our hotel. Both kiddos needed a nap desperately at this point. We agreed Aria probably wouldn't fall asleep with the excitement of the day so Drew took her swimming which helped keep her happy and content. I attempted to get our little guy to sleep. It didn't work very well. He was really missing his "papa" (great Grandpa). Eventually he slept for about 20 min, ate, and then we went to visit them and get his things for bed. Seeing them again really helped him and when we got back to our hotel, he was happy and content and went right to bed. Aria went really well also. It's weird sitting here typing with my TWO kiddos asleep!
He's so sweet. He has such a sweet personality and demeanor. They have raised him well and given him so much love. We'll always be so grateful to his birth family for all they have done for him.
We just love little Ben so much! We really cherish the relationship we have with his birth family. There is mutual respect and acceptance of the adoption – which is essential.
January 27, 2012 Ben's adoption was finalized. Such a neat experience.
http://ataleofthesetwo.blogspot.com/2012/01/finalization.html
February 4, 2012 We took Ben to the Temple and became a Family Forever.
http://ataleofthesetwo.blogspot.com/2012/02/forever-on-saturday.html
January 27, 2012 Ben's adoption was finalized. Such a neat experience.
http://ataleofthesetwo.blogspot.com/2012/01/finalization.html
February 4, 2012 We took Ben to the Temple and became a Family Forever.
http://ataleofthesetwo.blogspot.com/2012/02/forever-on-saturday.html
